I sometimes cyber-stalk my husband’s ex-wife.
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Bad parental motivational speeches
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The lady at the table behind ours at a restaurant was talking really loudly to her friend, saying how she hates her husband and she’s secretly planning on leaving him and taking half his money, half his stuff etc. Then for some reason (I never saw what she looked liked and this is the lame part)…
You’re right, it is sad. Once you get married, divorce isn’t in the plan. The problem is that for too many people, it’s still an option. Because of this, they don’t think “There’s a problem in my marriage, I need to do everything I can to fix this so I don’t end up living miserable for the rest of my life.” Instead, they think “Those weak-kneed feelings are not there anymore, we must not love each other anymore. It’s not my fault, I haven’t done anything wrong; it’s the other person’s fault, and now I need to divorce them.”
My husband was married twice before me. Both marriages fell apart for the same reason: Neither of them worked hard enough to save the marriage in either case, and in both cases divorce was an option.
For us, it’s not. We decided when we got married that the only way either of us are getting out of this is in a body bag. We also made sure that we got married for the right reasons. We don’t just give each other the warm fuzzies, we’re really committed to loving each other.
That’s why our marriage has survived what it has. In our first year of marriage, we’ve gone through severe sickness and major surgery with an eight-month recovery. We’ve gone through a foreclosure, job loss, an inability to find jobs, and starting a company together. And we’re stronger than ever before because when either of us could have backed off and said “No, this isn’t what I signed up for. This misery wasn’t in the bargain, I’m out” we instead shut our mouths, buckled down, and got through it together.
And if you are one of the unfortunates who ends up divorced even though you wanted to work it out, then it’s not your fault. Just trust that God does have something better in mind for you. But I don’t think a sweet, smart girl like you has anything to worry about.
Just my buck fifty on the subject :)
~Laura
